Why I Became a Doula: A Personal Journey
2/3/20265 min read
Looking Back Honestly
Looking back, that says a lot about where I was at that moment.
I felt the calling in my body, but my understanding of what a doula truly is was still forming. The dream was there, but it was undefined. I did not yet fully understand what continuous birth support or postpartum doula care could offer our family.
We talked about it. We considered a few doulas we knew. We thought about how many people would already be present in the birthing room. Our son, my mother-in-law, the midwife, kraamzorg.
At that time, it felt like enough. An extra person felt like it might be too crowded.
And in many ways, we were fine.
Being fully transparent, I probably thought like many parents do.
The birth was fast, beautiful, powerful, and intense. I was loved and supported.
And still, afterwards, I recognized a familiar feeling.
Even with many people around, I felt lonely. Held, but not continuously. Supported, but not fully guided.
Postpartum, Again, But Different
Postpartum was gentler this time.
I had more knowledge, better preparation, and more support. I slowly started building my village and community, something I deeply value now in my work as a doula.
I stayed in bed longer. I listened to my body more closely. I allowed recovery to look different.
It was not perfect, but it confirmed something important in me.
The calling returned. This time, clearly.
Choosing the Path
Three months after the birth, I returned to work slowly, twelve hours per week. Three weeks later, I recognized the signs of burnout.
I sought help and began questioning everything. My career. My direction. My purpose.
And there I was, bouncing on a ball with my baby in a carrier, when the decision arrived. It did not come from logic, but from truth.
I am doing this. I am becoming a doula.
I talked to my husband. I talked to my therapist. Nothing had ever felt more right.
So I signed up for doula training.
Becoming a Doula
I studied intensively and waited eagerly for learning moments during the week.
Then, pumping every three hours so my six-month-old baby would have enough milk, I attended my first four-day birth doula training.
It changed me.
I officially entered the birth world as a doula.
The Work That Found Me
From there, the path unfolded naturally.
Internships. Workshops. Deepening knowledge. Continuous learning. Then clients started finding me.
I supported home births and hospital births. Births with midwives and medical teams. Births with siblings present. Families in many different situations and settings.
Families trusted me with pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and early parenthood.
While I witness babies being born, what touches me most is the transformation of parents. Becoming mothers. Becoming fathers. Becoming families.
Being present. Continuously. Fully. Being the known presence in the unknown.
Where I Stand Now
I later completed advanced birth doula training and postpartum doula training. My offerings became clearer and more complete.
I do not want to support only birth. I want to support the whole journey. Pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and motherhood.
Because supported mothers thrive. And support in motherhood should never be a luxury.
Here I Am
So here I am. A birth doula. A postpartum doula. A mother. A woman. A community builder. Supporting families, including expat families, through some of the most vulnerable and transformative moments of their lives.
Constantly learning. Growing. Being shaped by every story I am trusted with.
If you feel like this kind of support is something you long for, for yourself or for someone you love, my heart is open.
With love,
Joanna
Dear Friends,
Some of you have known me for many years. Some of you I’ve met only recently. And some of you might be here for the very first time.
There’s something I’ve been wanting to share for a long while, but the right moment never quite arrived. It seems that now is the time. You’re welcome to read it all, or to stop whenever it feels enough. This space is yours too.
Who I Was
If you’ve known me for more than five years, you might remember me differently.
As an ambitious landscape architect. Moving countries to follow dreams with my partner. Always on the move. Traveling, discovering new restaurants and flavors, running, dancing, cycling, spending time at the gym.
So much has changed since then. And I have changed too.
When Birth Entered My World
In 2021, during my first pregnancy with Yiannis, I became deeply fascinated with birth. With birth work. With the power of women and the immense transformations our bodies go through during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
I come from Poland, a place where birth is often highly medicalized and interventions are the norm. Birth is commonly spoken about as something painful and traumatic. Even when stories were described as “positive,” they often carried layers of loneliness, survival, and simply getting through it.
During that time, I was introduced to the Dutch maternity system. At first, it shocked me. The more I learned, the more I understood it. The more I experienced, the more trust I built.
I started reading books, listening to podcasts, following birth workers and doulas, learning about physiological birth, informed choice, and supportive birth environments. I listened to stories, really listened.
Slowly, something shifted in me. I became a true birth enthusiast. And my world changed.
My First Birth
I knew I wanted a home birth. I prepared deeply for it, both mentally and physically.
And I got it. A peaceful, intimate home birth in the bath, in the living room of our rented apartment in Amsterdam.
My husband was my anchor. My grounding presence. The guard of oxytocin. I truly could not have done it without him. That moment transformed us forever.
But it was not the end of our journey.
After the birth, a complication required a hospital transfer. That is a story for another time. What matters now is this: I never regretted my home birth. I never blamed my body, my midwife, or the system.
If I could change one thing, it would not be the place of birth. It would be support.
Not only for me, but especially for my husband.
Postpartum: The Part I Was Not Ready For
Postpartum broke me into pieces.
I was not prepared for that chapter. Being an expat mother. Recovering from birth and complications. Living without a familiar support network. Receiving conflicting advice from different sources. Becoming a mother during COVID.
I felt lost. I felt lonely. I longed to be supported, understood, and cared for. I wanted someone to truly see me, my baby, my partner, and our unique situation.
There was no one there to guide us through that vulnerable time.
And that experience shaped me deeply. It planted a seed.
A Calling Begins
Somewhere in that difficult postpartum period, a quiet realization emerged.
I wanted to become the support I once needed. Support for mothers, birthing people, partners, and families.
Birth workers and doulas started appearing in my life. The idea kept returning, gently but persistently. Around the same time, I found out I was pregnant with my second son, Francisco.
I knew the calling would have to wait. But it lit up something in me that never went away.
A Very Different Pregnancy
My second pregnancy was very different from the first.
I was uncomfortable, often in pain, growing fast, feeling heavy and drained. There was no blissful second trimester. On top of that, I had an energetic toddler under two years old.
Working remotely as a landscape architect while feeling depleted was hard. At that time, my doula calling moved into the background, or at least I thought it did.
Still, it kept returning on better days.
Preparing Differently This Time
This time, I focused deeply on preparation for postpartum.
I wanted a hospital family birth, with my two-year-old son present. I researched family-centered birth, sibling preparation, and emotional support for children during birth. I read, reflected, and wrote.
I decided to have more support. My mother-in-law came for eight weeks. I prepared her to be a sibling support person for our son by sharing books, articles, and a guide I created for our family birth.
And maybe now you are wondering.
Did I have a doula this time?
No, I did not.
Community
Get connected and follow me on social media
Copyright © 2026 Birth Nest - All Rights Reserved.